Alright, so shit has hit the fan once again and there was a lot of yelling and possibly crying on everyone’s part because of frustration. I get this so very much.
The beautiful thing is that you CAN practice different ways to respond for the peace you are seeking.
Here are 4 Tips for Sober Moms During Overwhelm with Kids so that everyone is feeling good vs. upset and frustrated.
PRO Bonus Tip: We have a free Sober Mom Support group full of mommas changing up how they show up for their families vs. feeling defeated and consistently overwhelmed. Join us here
Tip #1: HALTS
This is where you stop and pause; then ask yourself or your kids if they are feeling:
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, or Stressed
This will take some practice to incorporate them into your day, but I promise this will be a game changer into your day.
Because what you’re doing is checking into what’s going on internally to cause the overwhelm; and if you have multiple children, everyone can be feeling something different.
Once you know & are aware of what’s going on, you can make a plan to eat, discuss, and/or take a nap.
Tip #2: Same Time Everyday?
It is a really real thing that overwhelm can be based on a certain time of the day; and it’s typically known as the witching hour.
Once you pinpoint this, you can prepare for it and overcome it with taking some down time or maybe doing a specific activity (like a family workout/walk/dance party/just turn on music and chill on the couch). This will take some time to figure out what works best for your family, but it will transform your day.
For us, this looks like me setting the boys up with a movie at about 1pm while I go meditate and take a cat nap.
The goal is peace and happiness.
Tip #3: Walk Away
I know this may piss someone off,
but honestly, it’s something I have to do myself sometimes in the moment. Since in recovery, I’m learning this is actually really good for me to get grounded and centered, and I feel it’s better than yelling.
The point of walking away is to get centered and grounded by either doing HALTS or just having some quiet space. I feel it’s important to explain to the kids we’re not made at them, but we’re just feeling very overwhelmed and need some space. <<<btw, this IS allowed.
From one mom to another, we know that just because we ask for space doesn’t mean we get it, so sometimes this just looks like me sitting on my bedroom floor with them in my lap cuddling & taking deep breaths in quiet.
Tip #4: Ask and Make A Plan
This is where the whole family can sit down and make a plan as to what to do when these overwhelming moments happen.
It can look like: a family scream, family meditation, everyone disperses and has some space doing a quiet activity, it can be down time, family dance party, checking HALTS, turn on music and chill on the couch together, ect…
If the kiddo(s) are 3 and under, obviously they won’t really be able to participate but it’s a good thing to ask yourself what YOU need and have them follow suit.
Either way, this will be something specific to your family which in turn will be something amazing.
Bonus Tip: Discuss and Apologize
no matter what, it’s important to discuss what happened after things settle down and that everyone makes things right as needed.
So that is it!! These 4 tips are what we do when overwhelm hits, which the solutions do get altered as they get bigger.
P.S. On the topic of changing habits, here is a blog article you may find useful: 5 Mistakes People Make When Creating Better Habits
P.S.S: Again, connect with us in our free Sober Mom Support group to have connection 24/7/365!!
Keep rockin’ on,
Leona.
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